I actually don’t know. I’m in the process of figuring that out myself. I currently work part time in a job that is not in my field, which I started while pursuing my degree and I’m grateful because it did afford me a lot of flexibility. My plan was to work full time while getting my MPH, hence why I did an online program. However, I found out quickly that my plans don’t always go as I please. I took no breaks during this degree program. I worked straight through from 2022-2024, so I’m not sure how I would’ve balanced this with a full time job. I’m glad I did it, but I often underestimate how intense that was  given everything else going on in life. God truly is a keeper and a provider. That’s a testimony in itself. 

While I am grateful I completed my MPH, it also kind of bums me out that I haven’t landed the “big girl” job yet that I assumed I would get upon graduating. I must admit that I do feel a sense of entitlement because of how hard I worked and obviously, that degree was not cheap. I’ve always been an extremely hard worker, so sometimes it’s difficult to wrap my head around not receiving the “reward” I expect for the work I did. This has honestly just been a very humbling time in my life and especially for my faith. God doesn’t owe me anything. At the same time, I feel like I’ve been waiting so long in a hallway waiting for the door to my next opportunity to open for me to walk through. Some days I’m filled with hope, other days anxiety tries to strangle me. The lows feel really low and the highs feel super high. 

What’s interesting about this time is that I’ve had so much space to think. I know what I really want to do career-wise. I just need the opportunity to get my feet wet and develop the skills towards my future goals. Not many people my age can say they know what they would like to do for their future career, so I do see that as a blessing. I also struggle with the possibility of “putting a pin” in my public health career. God might be calling me to do other things and explore other opportunities, but that scares me especially when I’ve worked so hard to be in this field and it’s something I’m truly passionate about. Clearly, my mind tends to race 1000 mph in this current season of my life and I constantly have to calm myself down. 

What I do know is that God has been providing for me, keeping me, and most importantly, sanctifying me in this season of uncertainty and doubt. I had to change my perspective in viewing this time of my life as punishment vs a sanctification process. God isn’t punishing me. He’s pruning me. It has made my faith in Him grow much stronger because when you’ve exhausted all options, I mean ALL, the only thing you can do is put your trust in God. I’ve done the networking, sent out emails to various contacts, even applied to previous companies and organizations I’ve worked for, plus I’ve sent out over 130 job applications. While this time has been rough for me, especially as someone who likes to be challenged and hates having an idle brain, I still have faith. My hope is in God, truly. I still have my days when I feel hopeless, anxious, doubtful, and full of regret, but even when I don’t see God working, He is. I don’t have to see it to believe it and that’s what faith is. 

If you are struggling like me, I encourage you to keep going. Seasons always change. 

Here are a few scriptures getting me through this season:

My personal  favorite
Philippians 4:6-7 
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

James 1:2-8
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Psalm 42:5 
Why, my soul, are you downcast?
 Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

Romans 12:12 
12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Psalm 62:5
Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
    my hope comes from him.

Proverbs 13:12
Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
    but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

Romans 5:3-4
3 Not only so, but we[c] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Isaiah 40:31
but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings lik

Romans 8:28
​​28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[i] have been called according to his purpose.e eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.